Friday, October 1, 2010

Will I Go Into A Relationship Again?

Last weekend I attended a wedding banquet, it was the usual dinner menu and video clips of that morning's tea ceremony, but what made the entire wedding special is that moment when the Bride & Groom entered the ballroom - I always find that expression of joy and bliss in every newly-wed unique; and it never fails to warm the heart of all those who is present to witness this sacred ceremony walk-in.

I was especially happy for the bride that night because at the end of the day, she had found a man who loves and knows how to appreciate & value her.

You know, to me, “I Do…” – Is the MOST romantic & sacred words in a wedding vow?

I Simply Love Weddings… Because it's a Celebration of Love and all things beautiful.

The Dresses, the Make-up, the Accessories.

The Food, the Decor, the Ambience.

The Guests, the Happenings… The blissfulness of the newly-wed – And when you look at it as a WHOLE on this entire heartfelt event... It’s simply Picturesque!

Watching the two Lovebirds from a near distance, I can't help but think of my own marriage...

Will I Be Able To Find Someone Who Will Love Me For Who I Am Again?

Realistically, this all seemed bleak & despairing to me, especially since I’ve published “This Is My Story...”

I mean... Which guy can TRULY embrace & accept my past; I can’t help but wonder deep in thought to myself (AS IF) I am the only one here (in this room) even though its crowded with wonderful people from all walks of life who've came to offer their well-wishes to the newly wed today.

I used to dream my perfect wedding where I’ll put on the most stunning wedding dress, having the most delicious food served, and having as many people attend to give me their well-wishes & blessings, it's all I could ever ask for.

And in all honest truth… I once thought I had found my “Apple”, till I found out for myself how rotten that “Apple” was... I told myself then that I was never, EVER gonna have another “Apple” in my life. I hated apples, when truth is, I am too afraid of having another (rotten) “Apple”.

Many of my readers who wrote me expressed similar sentiments as I’ve had before; being afraid of falling in love again after getting hurt & scarred in a relationship that they supposedly thought was sacred & beautiful... But reality as it turns out; always tend to be unforgiving and cruel.

And it was my GrandMentor who made me realized; that we can't say for sure that all the “apples” in the basket are rotten...

Rather than being afraid of “apples” for the rest of our life, what we can do for ourselves is to learn how to IDENTIFY & SINGLE-OUT the rotten ones and pick the good ones instead, but DON’T expect ANYONE to be perfect, because they will NOT be so... He said. “Perfection Lies In The Wisdom Of How One Perceives Perfection To Be... And The Key To Nurture & Strengthen A Strong & Meaningful Relationship; Is To Learn How To Give & Take; Consciously & Thoughtfully Always, From BOTH Parties.

If One Knows Only How To TAKE; But Know NOT How To GIVE (Compromise), One Will Just Ruin What Could Be A Beautiful Relationship To Begin With - And Love Alone Is A Flimsy Foundation To A Marriage... Because When Loves Die, The Marriage Dies With It Simply...

After receiving many MORE of such awakening truths from my GrandMentor, I slowly found the strength to give love another chance, and the Ghost of My Past has indeed become a true sacred Gift, a great valuable lesson in life, a true Gift of Wisdom; that is bestowed upon me to guide me on HOW TO identify & single-out those rotten “apples” and pick only the good ones & HOW to cultivate & nurture a good relationship…

It was with all these awakening truths that finally led me to face the world bravely once more with an overhaul make-over of my OLD life to a completely NEW life; re-created, re-designed & watched over by my GrandMentor; (He always said Life Is By Design if you know how to...) and AS IF it was my NEW DestinyCalling, this NEW Life of mine, in a very intuitive & divine way led me to execute an "impromptuCAUSE after witnessing MANY ladies out there that are in the SAME predicament like me and sadly; end up DEAD by committing suicide (or attempting suicide) thinking that there is no way out for them when they DO! Thus, I'd decided to share with the world MY STORY since, so that NO ladies should be USED & TREATED like a “play-thing” no more, but with respect, appreciation and love.

Many of my readers had written to me asking if I will ever go into a relationship again… My answer is a tranquil ‘yes…’ - I now keep an open-mind with regards to my Mr. Right should the time come for me to fall in love again – To me, the right man would be the man who CAN accept MY PAST and treats me well, loves me genuinely with his warm embrace & love me for who I am, and fulfil that marriage vows in this one lifetime of his…

And I too, will pledge everything of mine everlastingly to him and make him feel that only him; and HIM alone; that I am willing to pledge my whole life as a faithful, loving & understanding wife who will do her utmost best to complete him in this life, and together; journey towards a brand new life with offsprings of our own; till the day we both depart from this world, affectionately & devotedly till our very last breath.

Should such a Nice & Wonderful man EVER appear in my life…

I AM Ready To Take That Leap Of Faith.

But For Now… I Am All Focus In My Career, Calling and my Mission to advocate my Cause - Through This Book… As You Already Heard of, Read And/ Or Know, namely, “This Is My Story…”

Kasandra K.


Janine said...

Hello Kasandra :D

I hope you still remember me :). Just hope that you will find your Mr Right in the near future. You will have your happiness too :D , Lastly, takecare ^^

Serene Lum said...

Dear Kasandra,

Great that you leave your mind & heart open now. I ve read your story. U R BRAVE! I mean it. I ve been through ups n downs too. I am enjoying my second marriage now. n not transiting any of my previous most importantly. Always keep in mind that there i no perfection in human beings but there is always perfection in ones eyes. When come to acceptance, i took both good n bad now. cause one's good may cover up other's bad & one's bad compromises the other's good. Love life! it is more than you can explore. great days ahead.


Anonymous said...

Hi Kasandra

I'm chris dun kn u still remember me maybe not coz u hv to many reader or fan.

Anywhere you will find ur true love when time come all the best to u in ur career.

I will always support u hope by then u can write how u meet ur true love.

Take care my friend.

Fr: Chris Goh

Sky Khoo Zhihao said...

Dearest Kasandra,

Finally you have walked out of the darkness and starting to accept love once again. I feel for you too because I always have the same feeling as you when i attend friend's wedding. Many a time, we will be thinking,"How i wish i have such a great wedding someday" This image of walking down the alley will always be reflected in our mind.
I always remember my grandmentor, Mr Gan says
"Why you want to get married?"
Many answers like "Old already, Want to start a family and the worst answer, "i don't know" is alway being heard. But the real reason to why we want to get married is because of just one word "Love"
Mr Gan always ask us this question. "Are you ready to get married" Think about it deeply as it will give us the correct answer.

Anyway 在这个世界里,没有一个人是万美的。重要的是珍惜对方。
There is always a saying "Accept that someone for who he/she is and not what he/she is"
There is only one happiness in life, to love and be loved.
To love others, we need to learn to love ourselves first. I believe this is what the cause of your book is all about.
I wish you forever happiness. Keep smiling. You will definitely find the one who will love you and can accept your past for Past is history, Tomorrow is Mystery but today is a gift thats why it's call the Present. Treasure!!

Best regards
Sky Khoo Zhihao

Jackson said...

I believe I mentioned a little of my views to this topic quite a while ago, in the early months of this year. I feel that I should further elaborate, since this topic is out again.

There are 2 sides to a coin. Your past, when first viewed, looks very much like a overwhelming burden smothering you.

When viewed in another light, however, the progress you made since from your failed relationship, the steps which you took, one by one, from the past to emerge as a stronger, better person; that in itself, is something admirable, and worthy of affection.

Do not view your past as something hindering your future love. It is not. I am sure that I am not the first, nor will be the last to say this: "As a guy who already knows your past through your book, and the reasons for writing the book, I can say with all the honesty that I can muster; that not only do I accept your past. I gained feelings more akin to adoration for your gentle strength, knowing that you strove hard and long to place the past where it belongs... the past. And even more so, the desire to protect you from further hurt."

So... Your past, if it ever mattered to a right guy, only serves as a gentle reminder to him of what you two should work, as partners, to strive for greater happiness for all.

Lastly, do keep your focus on your career and your cause, since it has subtlety become a source of your strength. There's no need for a "leap" of faith. You only need to make the first step of truly keeping your heart open and look with discerning eyes into the future. Fate will guide the right guy to make his way, to travel the remaining distance between you two. And when that happens, I hope the only things shed, are tiny diamonds of joy from your eyes.

Have a great weekend.

Kasandra K. said...

Janine, I certainly remember you. ;) Thank you for your well-wishes... I sincerely hope that you'll also find your Mr. Right and have happiness of your own. Take care too, Janine. :)

WanTing, thank you for your compliment, encouragement and concern. It's really good to know that you're happy and enjoying your marriage and that you've become a stronger woman than you were before... I'm happy for you and I wish you and your husband a blissful marriage. Great days ahead for you too, WanTing. :)

Chris, thank you for your message of support, care and well-wishes for me... I do appreciate it. I too believe my Mr. Right will appear when the time comes, as my GrandMentor always says "Everything has its Time & Place". Take care too, Chris. :)

Sky, thank you for your well-wishes, care and concern toward me; being so supportive and encouraging always... I hope you'll find your happiness too and all the best to you. :)

Jackson, thank you for your encouragement, well-wishes and for sharing your thoughts with me... With the enlightenment from my GrandMentor, I no longer feel that my past hinders me from meeting the right guy because only when a man can truly accept my past, then he'll be able to embrace me wholly. More importantly, I'm focusing on my career and it's my priority at the moment. :)

yang_ee said...

kasandra i wanna say alot of things but like dono how to explain but still jia you jia you ;D

Kasandra K. said...

Hi Yang_ee, thank you for your encouragement... :) You can always feel free to send me a Private Message at my Facebook account ya, take care! ;)

Anonymous said...

Good Evening,
Hello Kasandra,
it been for a while never catch up with you , i wish you all the best for your book selling well.
to me you just a angle just in the sky.
have a great day.


Kasandra K. said...

Hi "Anonymous",thank you for your well-wishes and compliment. :) My best wishes to you in 2012 and you have a good day too. :)