Sunday, December 12, 2010

Every Ladies Nightmare... Abortion.

The Reality Of Abortion

In my book “This Is My Story...”, I've shared my personal heart wrenching experience going through my miscarriage; and an abortion. And some readers; who've gone through the same thing, shared their personal experiences with me too by private messaging me with their inner thoughts, comments & interpretations.

It is always saddening to receive a Private Message seeking advice on unexpected and unwanted pregnancies, and absolution from guilt. They come to me simply because they are petrified in being alone on the matter; and at a loss of not knowing what to do next, and are too mortified to confide in any of their close friends and/ or family members.

When I read what they have been/ are going through, flashbacks of my past will always auto play-back in my mind, and I truly empathize with them.

Most of these ladies’ abortions derive from the decision that's made to be what's best for both the individual and the unborn child; something that they are not willing to, but feel that there is a need to make that decision... To Abort .

While each of them have their personal reasons & grounds in making that decision, most are NOT prepared to become a Mother as they have that constant fear inside them; that they are not confident of being a good parent to the child; and have no ability to support & bring them up well, and most felt the father of the child may not be the guy whom they want to settle down with eventually because of their young or immature mind… Countless thoughts after thoughts layered with daily fretfulness, apprehension & anxiety.

Raising a child isn't easy, especially if you're young and/ or a single mother.

It is a huge accountability in all aspects of the child's growth and you need to be strong mentally, emotionally and physically to commit to this responsibility.

However, there are many young girls/ ladies/ women out there who weren't prepared to become a Mother initially, but still chose to become one; making that commitment and shouldering the heavy responsibility.

Point is… At the end of the day, what's most important, is not whether you're prepared for it (though it does play a part), but it's how you handle it from there on with the path you eventually choose.

Though I'm not yet a parent, but during the brief days when I was pregnant with a little and tiniest heart beating inside me, I too questioned if I’ll be a good parent...

I had an epiphany, that there isn't actually a definition of “Good” or 'Bad” parent... But whether the methods we use on our child is effective; and can we bring them up good & well with the current environment & situation we are in; when in reality we ourselves are in such a total mess.

Before one makes any decision, we first need to understand that every Cause has an Effect. Hence, it's vital to thoroughly walk through in your mind the paths down with each decision you make; where it'll lead you to and how your life will change from there on & so forth... Because once you've started to walk the path you've chosen, things will NEVER be the same again, and nothing you do; no amount of self-remorse or self-reproach, will put things back the way it was, ever again.

A reader of mine who shared that even after three years since her abortion; she still could not find forgiveness within and always looked at herself as a murderer, feels indebted to her unborn child. Guilt and remorse torments her every day, pushing her to end her miseries once and for all... 

Like her, I used to believe that I had “killed” my own child when I first miscarriaged (I was barely 19 years old then…) because I let my emotions take over and didn't take good care of myself.

And when I went for my abortion on my second pregnancy (Those who’ve read my book will understand why…), my child was still healthy in me and I, as the mother, chose to “kill” it.

I blamed myself again for so MANY reasons... Why did I not think of consequences and cause my healthy unborn child to pay the price for my selfish actions?!?!? I felt really guilty and felt that I was a thorough sinner too...

The truth is (after I am awakened by my GrandMentor's patience guidance & support), I’ve come to embrace the fact that those guilt and sin will NEVER ever go away; and death will NEVER be a solution.

Up till this day, I constantly think of my two unborn children and sadness still fills my heart whenever I see pregnant women or newborn babies...

My GrandMentor has taught me, “To Change Your Life... You Have To Change The Perception Of Life Itself First.” - My two unborn children did not have the chance to live, but I still do... Thus, I chose to take responsibility & accountability; and to “atone” for my sins by living my life meaningfully & significantly now, if not for myself; it'll be for them.

Either decision we make at the end of the day, we need to be strong to bear the Effects of our own Cause.

Another reader of mine wrote me and told me she wants to be strong like me and doesn't want to be scared going for the abortion... To set the record straight, I was really scared back then...

As I lay on the bed waiting for my turn to go into the surgical room, I was looking around and never stopped fidgeting every minute as the clock ticked. I was in fright, that fearful feeling was embedded deeply inside me (Ever witnessed the panic & fear of a hen that is about to be slaughtered?)

Though I had made my decision to go for an abortion, for every minute every second before the surgery, my mind flips between the choices I still have before me.

As long as the surgery has not begun, I could still back out...

Even during the last moments in the surgical room lying on that cold surgical table, the thoughts of “Should I? or Should I Not?” lingers very strongly in my head; till I was knocked unconscious...

My point is…

It's alright and normal to be afraid, to be scared... After all, a delicate life is about to be taken away from inside you, and it’s us (the ladies) that is lying on that surgical table; with bright strong lights casting over us, the smell of the medications in that small room... The pain, the guilt, the remorsefulness that is planted & rooted so deeply inside us, and it’s our body they are operating on... Why shouldn’t we be scared?

We deserve to be pampered & loved well by the same guy who claims to love us but YET; after they got us pregnant, they simply leave us alone with that cold treatment... Have they forgotten their promises when they first pledge their undying love for us...?

At the end of the day, they just move on as if nothing happen… They have everything to Gain; while we have everything to Lose

These irresponsible guys simply pack & go, but WE are the ones who suffer the remorse & pain in silence for a whole of our lifetime - No True Gentlemen Will Ever Do That To Any Ladies.

Good news is…

We are capable of preventing all these pain, fear, stress and emotions in the first place should we know how to better protect ourselves... Thus, it is one of the KEY reasons why it's so important for me to advocate my Cause through "This Is My Story..." Ladies MUST really learn how to identify these breed of men who are not serious being in a relationship but simply preys on women just to have free convenient sex!

And it's not only unexpected pregnancies that the ladies have to prevent...

If you think about it, for these irresponsible guys whose motive is just to get you to bed before moving on to his next new target, or  stringing a few sexual partners along, what would the chances of contracting Sexually Transmitted Disease (STD) be…?

If you're thinking that you wouldn't be that unlucky one, I’m sure there are many other life instances whereby you thought it would never happen to you, but it DiD; didn’t they...?

ANYTHING can happen…

Like what my GrandMentor said to me once (still fresh in my head)…

“As Long As There Is A CAUSE, There’ll ALWAYS Be An EFFECT… It’s A Universal Law – If It Don’t Happen Immediately, It WILL Happen Overtime. And When “They” (The Effect) Got Hold Of You Eventually… That’s When The TWO Words, “IF ONLY” Will Surface AT The Back Of Your Head. And That; Will Be The First Stage Of Your Rude "Awakening"…”

So Ladies, Try Not To Push Your Luck And Take Life For Granted Just Because You're Not A Victim... Yet.    

Learn from my past and my life experiences…

Please DON'T ever think of ending your life because of a problem that you think no one can help you with – I’m here, for you…

If ever you are caught up in a situation that you think death is the only way out… DON’T Be Silly okay...? Talk to me… Write me… I’ll help you out in ANY way I can.

FOR LADIES ONLYI’ve specially set up this hotmail account just for YOU to write me - Here’s the address if you ever need to contact me directly to get out of a problem which you feel or even believe it's a Life & Death situation(s) to your definition.

Remember ladies, There's Always A Solution To A Problem... There Is Always A Way Out.

You May Email Me At: - Remember ALWAYSDeath Is NEVER A Solution… It Never Was, NEVER Will Be… And NEVER The Only Way Out.

Like What My GrandMentor Said To Me (Back Then) During My Recuperating Stage…

“You ONLY Live ONCE… Make The Best Out Of This ONE LIFE You’ve Got - Cry Your Heart Out If You Must… Then Accept The Fact And Let It Go… A New Life Will Come To You After that (It’s A Universal Law), Believe Me Kas.”

And Believe Him; I Did.  

If I Can Do It, Ladies… So Can You; Believe Me.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

*PS: Those Who’ve Already Read My Book Will Often Write Me & Ask Where Can They Learn All These Universal Laws & Ancient Knowledge Like I Had So That They Can Also Apply It In Their Daily Life Too… They Know It Is Originated From The Fraternity, But WHERE Is The Fraternity If They Are Interested To Join…?

Well, I Myself Have Witnessed The Many Changes Of Those Wonderful Individuals After Receiving These Sacred Knowledge And How It Has Actually Impacted Their Life & How They Have Changed For The Better With A Clearer Direction Towards This ONE LIFE They’ve Got…

If You Are Interested To Know More About The Fraternity, You May Click HERE To Join By Clicking “LiKE” To Begin Your First Step – And If You Are Destine, You’ll Be Invited To Attend Their Quarterly Ancient Knowledge Congress - I Truly Hope To See You At The Fraternity Ancient Knowledge Congress (Held Every Quarterly) Should We Ever; As What My GrandMentor Always Says... Be “Destined” To Meet.

You Have A Great Weekend All...

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